We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
