Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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