I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize