respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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