So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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