omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
