Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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