He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
