okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
