i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
