you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
