Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
