I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
