He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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