i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
