i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
