i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
