Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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