Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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