Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
