I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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