All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wish my penis had a tongue
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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