thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
