Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
