She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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