If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
