Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
