her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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