I'm lost and stupid without you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
