My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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