Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
