dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
