This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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