why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
