I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
