I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
