it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
