The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize