I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
