Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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