I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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