I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
