Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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