ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
