omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
