If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
