Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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