If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
