Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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