you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
