I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
