i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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