There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
