Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize