i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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