Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
