Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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