ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
