also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Are we still banned from the library?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
