i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
